Palace interlude - 2

The Bishop's palace was huge, something Ursula and Mary Amadeus turned to their advantage in eluding the ladies of the court. They moved from room to room, ducked down corridors and galleries, sped through servants' wings, and kitchens redolent with delicious smells and fierce heat. Occasionally they'd catch a glimpse of distant, questing figures in court dress, or servants with an anxious look, but avoided being spotted. Mary Amadeus had developed a surprising turn of speed for a nun soon after her interest in all things explosive had turned to practical experimentation. It had kept her alive. Now it came in useful when accelerating away from pursuers.

"This place is a bloody labyrinth!" Ursula exclaimed. "Where's Ariadne when you need her?"

Eventually they fetched up in a small cozy room between the great towers overlooking the river. "This is more like it," Ursula said looking round. "It's a better version of Abbess Hilda's private parlor under the tower back at the convent. I wonder whose it is."

"I don't care!" Mary sighed as she sank into a chair. "I'm glad we can stop hurrying for a while."

Ursula ruffled her hair then sat down. "You did much better than I expected, dear Mary A. All the dashing about we've done this last week has made us both fitter than we were."

"I think so. I feel the better for it."

"We can take a breather away from those twittering ninnies and take stock of what's happened and what we do next."

Mary produced her letter. "Philip did send me this," she said.

Ursula took and read the letter. "Oh my! He invited you to an assignation!"

"Yes!" Mary felt her face grow hot and the delicious warm glow filled her heart once more, but she felt troubled all the same. "I've no idea what to do – if I do anything at all. I'm still a nun; it wouldn't be right."

"Actually, that won't be much of a problem for you. My father told me he'd be quite happy to dissolve your vows, should you request it."

"Did he say anything about saving the abbey a heap of repair bills?"

"Ooh, you cynic!"

Mary smiled sadly and shrugged. "I know I cost the Church a pretty pfennig in my time."

Ursula reached over and squeezed her hand. "Yes, he did mention repair bills." She frowned. "He would have said much more, had I given him the chance. I'm afraid I was rather cheeky to him."

"Why?"

Ursula leaned back in the chair with her hands across her stomach and thrust her feet out. "I'm frustrated at returning to this world, I suppose. I've been here less than a day and already I feel stifled."

"I know what you mean. We were being chased back in the Margravate, but at least we were free."

"Yes. I can't say I'm proud of my behavior toward father. I'll have to apologize in some way, without being caught by the court ladies and being killed by sheer social vapidity." Ursula stared out the window, lost in thought for a moment then shook herself and smiled. "But enough of that. I think you should go see my father today and get that dissolution signed and sealed. Then you can go see Cousin Philip with a clear conscience."

"Well, it won't be that clear," Mary murmured. "Meeting him alone is rather risqué, don't you think?"

"I'll come with you as chaperone if you wish," Ursula shrugged, "although Philip doesn't strike me as the seductive type."

"No, he's nice, but I suppose proprieties have to be observed."

Ursula gave her a lazy smile. "I may ask you to do the same for me, when I meet Horatio again!"

"Certainly, my dear. I wonder where the Blue Parlor is located."

Before Ursula could reply they heard footsteps climbing the stairs toward their room. As one they got up and hastened into a small side chamber, where Ursula took the key and locked the door from the inside. They waited with baited breath for the footsteps to pass. "It could be someone looking after the great clocks higher up," Ursula said.

"I hope so."

But the door to the parlor opened and they heard people enter. "This is a likely spot," someone said in a patrician accent. "Try that door, my dear fellow."

Someone approached the door to where they hid and both women held their breath. The handle rattled. "Locked."

"Good. Sit down, and let us talk."

Chairs scraped. "D' you know, I'm sure I can smell perfume." Ursula grimaced.

"And this chair feels warm."

"So does this one. I dare say one of the ladies from the court had an assignation in here." The tone was jocular.

"I hope she doesn't come back!"

"Oh no. They're chasing the Archbishop's brat."

Mary Amadeus grabbed Ursula's arm as she stiffened with outrage.

"That'll keep them occupied for a while. We can talk in peace."

"Who is it?" Mary mouthed.

Ursula put her lips close to her ear to whisper. "The one with the deeper voice is Baron Zögernsie; I don't know the other."

The voices continued. "I received some reports en-route, including that of an engagement with Margravate forces upriver, but nothing since."

"Then I can supply some further details, my dear Baron," Zögernsie said. "The Archbishop's daughter successfully escaped the hands of the new Margraf, Heinrich, and reached the Eisenwasser. Somehow she smuggled a message to us asking for rescue. That meddling idiot Creighton used his initiative to send one of our gunboats to collect her from a riverside village on the Margravate shore. It appears a troop of the Margraf's gendarmes were on her trail and the gunboat engaged them in the course of the mission."

"Which was a success," the other speaker said in a flat tone.

"Which was a success. The girl was brought off, along with her friend and our spy, that fellow Beckenbaur. He was wounded in the action."

"A pity the stupid girl didn't stay where she was. The whole situation would have been better for all concerned."

Mary hugged Ursula hard. Her friend's face had taken on a highly dangerous expression. "Easy, my dear!" she hissed.

"Did you hear something?" the speaker asked.

"Yes," Zögernsie replied. "Don't worry. It could be mice, or the remnants of snow sliding off the roof."

"Ah."

"I should add that two of the Margraf's officers were captured in the course of the mission. One was a gunboat commander, quickly exchanged, but the other is none other than Baron Ehrgeiziger."

"Ehrgeiziger? The head of the Sicherheits-Büro in Randstadt?"

"The same. It seems his new master promoted him, and he's a parolee in the town as we speak."

A silence followed in which Mary struggled successfully to calm her friend.

"Interesting," the other speaker said at last. "You think we can make use of his presence here?"

"Oh yes. It appears our message to the old Margraf went sadly astray upon his unfortunate demise, but Ehrgeiziger offers us another channel of communication to his successor."

"Good. We must make use of it. I want the new Margraf to know he has friends within the Hetzenberg court."

"I shall set matters in hand at once."

"Please do so. And now I see the time has wended on, and I must attend this afternoon's soiree. Such a bore!"

"Indeed. Shall we go?"

Chairs scraped, and nothing more was said in the other room. The women heard the outer door close and silence fell, to be broken by Ursula's soft growl. "Those treasonous dogs!"

"They were stupid!" Mary said, unlocking the door and peering out. "I mean, they could smell your perfume, and could feel the chairs we sat on were warm, yet they didn't put two-and-two together and realize we could be in here?"

"We could put that to our advantage!" Ursula said, following her out into the room.

"I wonder who the other man was."

"I don't know, but I intend to find out! The 'Archbishop's brat,' am I?" Ursula's eyes glittered dangerously. "I'll make him eat his words!"

Palace interlude - 1

When Archbishop Wolfram next set eyes upon his errant daughter she had been transformed. Ursula swept into the private parlor wearing a day dress of sheer blue silk and a low wig of ivory white. Both had been loaned to her no doubt by either Grafin Ostenburg or Baroness Zögernsie. Her face had been scrubbed clean and her natural beauty shone. The noblewomen of the court who'd accompanied the mission to Kimmelsbrücke had taken her in hand within minutes of her arrival, exclaiming with dismay over her apparel and rather rank smell as they ushered her off to the Bishop's palace.

Now she was freshly-scrubbed and presentable at last. He smiled with approval as she approached and curtseyed to him. This is much more like it! His comfortable sense of everything falling back into order disappeared in a flash when Ursula had completed her curtsey and looked him in the eye. "I feel like a bloody idiot!" she fumed.

"Ursula! Pray do not use such foul language!"

"I'm in a foul mood, father!" She jerked her thumb in the direction of the private quarters. "All I wanted to do was rest and eat, but those simpering ninnies grabbed me and had me scrubbed with pumice stone to within an inch of my life! They complained I reeked of gunpowder!"

"You did!"

She waved her hand. "I was in a battle, father. Remember? Besides, I've lived with Mary Amadeus for three years; I'm used to the smell of powder smoke."

Wolfram winced. "Mary Amadeus? Not Sister Mary Amadeus?"

"Is there any other?"

"I hope not! If there were two of them in the realm the repair bills would bankrupt us within a year!" he muttered.

Ursula had sat down, uninvited. Now she scowled at him. "She's a very good friend to me, father! Had it not been for her and poor Konrad, I wouldn't be here today."

"Just so, just so." When did this meeting slip out of my control? He wondered plaintively.

"Besides, Mary A is thinking of dissolving her vows."

"She is?" he said hopefully.

"Yes." Ursula held up a hand. "She'll have to tell you that herself, father. It's not for me to say."

"Of course. Well, as her superior within the Church I can give her dispensation…"

"That'll be nice. She's gaga over Cousin Philip."

"What?"

"He's a nice fellow. They're made for each other."

Outrageous! "Your Uncle will have definite views on that!"

"Don't tell me Philip's already engaged to some pure-bred nitwit from another court!"

"Well no, but –"

Her eyes narrowed. "I hope you're not thinking of doing the same to me?"

The thought had crossed my mind... "Well -- !"

"If so, forget it! After that episode with the creepy Heinrich I'll make my own mind up about that."

"Now look here my girl --!"

"And while we're on the subject of my escape I'd like you to take care of a good fellow and his family who aided us. His name's Bruno, his wife is Lydia, and they have four charming children. They're poor folk, and I'd like you to find them good employment on one of the estates. They deserve it."

"That can be arranged," he said, grasping at the moment. "But I must –"

"Then there's Lieutenant Horngebläse..." Wolfram stared. Is she blushing? It's positively unnerving! "I'd like him to have some kind of reward. You should've seen him in action last night! He's very brave and clever."

Wolfram closed his eyes. "And a handsome young fellow too, I noticed. You did hug and kiss him before coming ashore. I thought you were just thanking him in your usual exuberant way. Please don't tell me you've fallen for a common officer!" he groaned.

"Very well, I won't." She got to her feet and headed for the door. "But please see he gets some kind of recognition. I'll see you later."

Ursula departed from the room, leaving Wolfram feeling as if he'd just walked through a tornado. He raised his eyes to the heavens. "Lord, are You bored up there to inflict this upon me?"

* * *

Mary Amadeus had been swept up in the general scrum of gentlefolk who'd assembled to welcome Ursula home. On discovering that she was nobody in particular she had then been shunted off to a side chamber within the palace to look after her own needs. The servants had treated her with respect, bringing her water to bathe in and clean clothing. Rumors were already spreading about last night's action and she felt speculative eyes turn her way several times.

Even so, she felt abandoned, bereft, and strangely cross. Ursula was somewhere in the bowels of the palace doing who-knew-what, and she'd last seen Graf Philip disappearing into a chamber with several of the court bigwigs. She sat now in a sunny spot in the palace gardens surrounded by birdsong, looking across the river and wondering what on earth to do next.

I should ask for an audience with the Archbishop, she thought. But if I forsake my vows and take up a normal life, what would I do? Realistically she knew she stood no chance of getting to know Graf Philip. And she had the dreadful suspicion Ursula would be kept away from her, perhaps married off and sent abroad. There's always home, I guess. Wohl's not that far from here. But again, what would I do? The mines won't welcome a woman in the engineering branch, and dad can't afford to keep me around, even if I work in his own workshop.

A window opened somewhere above and behind her. Mary ignored it, taking it to be a servant airing a room.

"Psst!"

She stared into space. Wohl's as good a place as any. Maybe I should wait until tomorrow and see if I can beg a ride there?

"Psst!"

Money is going to be a problem, though. I have a couple of Marks but that won't last…

A fine white court wig dropped from above and landed in her lap. She stared at it, did a quick calculation concerning vectors and velocities and looked up and back.

Ursula was framed in a window above the ground floor, beckoning urgently. Her bright blond hair was growing out of the traditional nuns' bob now and was blowing in the gentle breeze. "Get up here, dozy! I need help!"

"Wait! Someone's coming!" Mary caught sight of a male servant walking through the gardens, bearing a silver salver and looking around as if he sought someone. He saw Mary sitting on the bench and came over. "His Excellency the Graf Philip sends his compliments, Sister, and desires you to have this first edition copy of his work." He proffered the salver upon which was a pristine copy of Dann explodiert sie!

Mary took it gratefully. "Please thank His Excellency for his gift! I shall treasure it always!"

The servant bowed and departed. Mary opened the copy and saw a handwritten note had been tucked into the first chapter. She read it. Please meet me in the Blue Parlor at twelve midnight. I desire to speak with you most urgently. Your most affectionate friend and admirer, Philip.

"Oh my!"

"Mary Amadeus! Will you get up here?" Ursula's exasperated voice came from on high.

Mary slipped the pamphlet into her purse, her heart glowing. "Coming, Ursula!"

"And bring the wig!"

Tomorrow, we march on York!

Okay, time for a shameless plug. I've boxed up all the material I aim to sell at York tomorrow. Here's a list...

* * *

4 x units of 25mm American Civil War infantry, three Union, one Confederate.

1x 15mm Flames of War (or similar) US Rifle company, with 81mm mortar platoon.

1x 25mm Gallic warband.

20mm WW2 Burma-theater British & Indian infantry and tanks.

20mm WW2 Burma (or anywhere in the Far East) Japanese infantry and tanks.

All the above figures are painted.

4x Osprey uniform guides on the Franco-Prussian War.

German troops 1870-1 volumes (1) & (2)

French army 1870-1 (Imperial troops) (1)

French army 1870-1 (Republican troops) (2)

Bruce Quarrie - "Napoleon's battles in miniature," 2nd edition.

* * *

And finally, a photo illustrating why grown men shouldn't own action figures...

A brief intermission.

The best laid plans oft go awry. When I began the imaginations of Hetzenberg and Dunkeldorf-Pfuhl in the fall of 2007 I little dreamed of what lay ahead. My plan was to develop two small armies of a brigade (4 or so regiments) apiece with attached cavalry and artillery, all in 28-30mm, and record their battles here. Circumstances have altered my life to such a degree I can't continue the project for some months at least. Impending marriage and emigration tend to take priority, even over wargaming!

*

As my fictional account of events in my corner of Urope seems to be so popular, what I propose is to novelize the enmity between the Grand Duchy and the Margravate. Using methods suggested by Tony Bath in his seminal work "Setting up a wargames campaign" to create battles and encounters, I can continue to wargame, at least in an abstract fashion. The results will be dramatized and published here. Eventually, when I'm more settled, I'll resume the build-up of the actual armies. Any ideas, suggestions and comments are welcome.

Petards 101

Mary Amadeus fell upon her belongings eagerly when they were delivered. Ursula noticed she handled the small brass-bound coffer with some care. "What's in that, Mary A?" she asked.

Mary glanced at Birgit the maid, who was busily folding bed sheets, and lowered her voice. "I have one or two surprises that may help us get out of here."

"I'm all for that!" Ursula growled. "Being cooped up in here for nearly two weeks has frayed my patience to the limit."

"Be patient a while longer, my dear, and we'll escape. Konrad should be waiting for us tomorrow night, yes?"

"Yes. At least our things arrived in time."

"Let us give thanks for that!" Mary breathed and crossed herself, which drew a curious glance from Birgit. "Birgit, go find something to do outside, there's a dear," Mary told her. "The Grafin and I wish to pray undisturbed." The girl bobbed a curtsey and left the room. Mary took the coffer over to a table, produced a small key and unlocked it. "I wasn't joking about praying, Ursula," she said. "One wrong move and…"

Ursula stepped back. "Oh my!"

Mary opened the coffer and took out a parcel tied with discolored string. She unpicked the knot, opened the parcel, examined the wool with open satisfaction and laid it aside on the bed. Taking up the string she coiled it neatly around her fingers. "Never dispose of a piece of string, you never know when you might need it," she said with a wink as she walked back to the table.

"I'd prefer a good long rope," Ursula muttered.

"You could grow your hair long like Rapunzel, and use it to hoist Konrad up to your room!"

"Rapunzel was an idiot! Why go to all the time and trouble of growing her hair so long to haul up her rescuer, when she could've used it to lower herself to the ground?"

"Fairy tales are seldom practical," Mary said equably as she set the coiled string aside. Taking up the cotton waste she found a small vial in the midst of it and tossed it aside. "We may need that later."

"Holy water?"

"Not quite!" she grinned. "Be a dear and fetch out the helmet you'll find under my bed."

Ursula found the article and handed it over to Mary then sat spellbound and watched her work.

Mary took the helmet and pointed to a pair of small holes in the crown. "This is where a plume or something was mounted," she said. "I can use it. Pass me that rosary and candle." Ursula handed them over. Mary fingered the rosary until she found a bead with a deep crack in it. "Just as I remembered," she said, placing the rosary on the stone flagged floor. Standing on the cracked bead she applied increasing pressure until it split in two. "My poor old grandmother gave me these before she died. I think she might approve of the use I'm putting them to. Now, pass me those eyebrow tweezers…"

Ursula watched spellbound as Mary went to work. First she threaded the two ends of the string through the holes in the helmet and set it upside down on the table. Next, using the tweezers she held a fragment of bead close to the candle flame until it began to bubble and spit. A wonderful scent of pine filled the air. "Amber is fossilized resin, which itself makes a useful adhesive," she explained, letting the melting amber drip onto the string where it protruded through the holes. "That should hold the fuse firmly in place."

"Just what is it you're making?" Ursula asked.

"It's a primitive petard," Mary explained. "A device used for blasting open doors. I intend to use it on that postern gate in the outer wall." She gently tugged the string and it held. "This isn't string. It's a slow fuse, timed to burn at an inch a minute. I made it to while away the time between other experiments. My father showed me how."

"Ah!" Ursula exclaimed as light dawned. "I did wonder why you chose that postern gate to escape through. Um… Petard. Is that as in 'hoist by his own petard?'"

"Exactly the same." Sometimes an engineer who tried to fire a petard didn't cut his fuse correctly so it went off prematurely. Quite often it threw the poor fellow high into the air, hence the phrase."

"Ick!" Ursula gulped.

"Well put." Mary dabbed her fingertips on her tongue and extinguished the candle before facing Ursula and taking her hands. "Now, my dear, if you love me you'll be quiet and go to your room until I've finished," she said seriously. "If this goes wrong, I don't want you hurt."

"God bless you and guide your hands, Mary A," Ursula said, kissing her cheek.

"Don't turn religious on me now, Ursula, or I'll really begin to worry!" Mary replied with a wink. "Now, shoo!"

Ursula left with a backward glance. Mary waved, feeling resigned. Her calculations had been thorough and she had a shrewd idea of the power contained in her new substance. Even the thick stone wall dividing the rooms would not make Ursula safe if the device went off. It was a dangerous course but the only one that offered escape. And I can do this! She thought, turning back to her work.

First she ensured that nothing was nearby that could throw a spark. Satisfied she pulled on a pair of fine kid gloves, took up the wool and packed it slowly and carefully into the helmet as if stuffing it into a bowl. When the whole spongy mass was tamped inside she laid the hemp wrapping over it and tucked it in all around. When all was done she released the breath she'd been holding for a long time and inhaled a fresh gulp of pine-scented air.

"Finished!" she cried softly.

The Chronicles...

...will be resumed on Thursday or Friday this week. Cindy is off back to the USA tomorrow for what will hopefully be a short separation for us.

A Happy New Year!

The Hoppin' John has been consumed, New Year toasts drunk, the hangovers are fading (not that we drink anyway...), and an interesting year lies ahead. A few days before Christmas, Cindy and I received notice that our visa application has been approved! We'll see what other hoops we have to jump through - bureaucracy is never easy to deal with except in Hetzenberg where women carry muskets and men tread lightly...

In the meantime, Cindy and I wish you all a Happy New Year! May all your conflicts be the size of a tabletop and decided by the roll of dice.